So far in New York I've enjoyed myself but I couldn't shake my fear that maybe this was a mistake.
I had been waking up with knots in my stomach feeling anxious anytime my mind was free to wander. Today was different. My internship has been going really well- I even got to go to Vogue today to run errands which is just fun lets face it. Later I started my new job as a hostess in Greenwich Village. After a long day and night of work my feet were killing me, I was beyond exhausted, but on my way home I was filled with overwhelming happiness and excitement. I realized that I'm doing what I came here to do I'M FINALLY DOING IT. Not just that I am doing it but I can do it. I think something else I feared was that maybe I wasn't capable of handling the reality of fulfilling my goals. What if I moved here and the city ate me alive and I just couldn't do it? That would be soul crushing. Realizing that I can handle it is a huge relief.
I don't know what going to happen tomorrow, but I know it's all worth it for those few minutes when I can literally FEEL my dreams becoming a reality.
So if you take anything away from this cheese fest- do what makes you happy, even if it scares you. Or something...